2 am thoughts

I am barely able to put these into words but I’m gonna try anyway. You know in life when you get to do a job that’s completely far from your passions and then you get stuck with that work-home-sleep-social media routine that you forget to live (according to your own definitions of living) and all that matters is you make money which you mostly spend on bills for having to rent and commute. You know that dilemma where you kinda miss the things you used to do and yet you are so lazy to do them when you finally have time. You know when you wish you had a chance but blow that chance when you finally get it by doing something else that makes you unproductive. I am at this point right now. Like I used to love baking, but right now the thought of it already exhausts me. I used to love organizing my thoughts in my head and writing them down when I finally can but right now I just kinda wait until I’m really bored and the thought of skipping something I love comes to this extent where it’s my last resort, like right now. Like if I don’t finally try to write here now and let out some of these thoughts I’ve piled up and kept to myself esp. the ones lately and just go to sleep, chances are I’ll be bothered in the next coming days so I better do now.

Well, it’s not necessarily a bad thing though to have forgotten to love what we used to love. Life happens and we gotta keep up. But it’s just sad just letting time pass without getting to at least you know, do again those things that used to excite us before our reality. I think this is why I would try to write sometimes here even though I don’t really make sense anymore just for the heck of it. I actually miss those times I would get excited about getting to work with my hand mixer (a gift I got from a Christmas party at a job before), eggs, flour, milk and all those things. But the thought of doing it at where I’m at and at times like this just discourages me and I guess I have right here the perfect excuse. And as for writing, I get too busy scrolling through my social media accounts to even open my WordPress account to read blogs and write a short one, much less draw inspirations from anywhere else. I really love it though when I get to express my thoughts through writing here where other people can read. I wish I would write often like I always plan every after a log. I am just so good at these excuses yet feel sad for not getting to do my passions anymore. My bad.

But now I wanna know.. Is it just me? Am I the only guilty one?

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Anyway, here’s something I’m currently obsessing with. I got this as a freebie a few days ago. Just gives more my corner that homey vibe.. 😊